whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
