well I can't set my house on fire every night
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
