the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
