Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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