talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
