My hand turned me down
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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