I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
