I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I think I died a long time ago.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
