piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
