I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
