Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize