If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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