Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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