I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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