I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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