I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Randomize