This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
