In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
