I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
