put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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