the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We are all done wearing pants today
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
