You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
