When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
