Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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