Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
