she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
