69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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