ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
