You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
