Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
