I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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