i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize