Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
