and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize