I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
