whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
