if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
