Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
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