I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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