I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
