You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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