i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
