rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
