I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You need a sexual gate keeper
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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