Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
