How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
