I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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