Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
