I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
