So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize