Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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