Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
