i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
