we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
