He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
