I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
