I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
