Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
