honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Randomize