I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
